Tag Archives: rice

Mayor Inspiration.

I’ve kind of got a thing for Cory Booker. Dude jumps into flaming buildings to save constituents, loves coffee and isn’t that bad to look at. Oh. And he’s willing to try eating for a week on food stamps just to see what it’s like. Swoon.

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Take note. I am in no way trying to compare the situation I’m about to describe with that of the 46.2 million people who live in poverty in the U.S. Poverty and inconvenience are very, very different.

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Round One: Mexico.

OR: SCREW THIS, I’M GOING TO A TACO TRUCK.

My foray into Mexican cuisine falls under the “I really don’t want to write about that” category. This dinner happened on the evening I reclaimed my home after a remodeling project. (One that included words that no home owner wants to hear, such as “black mold” and “colony of…”) So, to say the least, my mind and energy was not completely dedicated to the meal. Instead of thinking, “Yay, I’m going to learn to cook Mexican food!,” I was thinking, “Yay! That’s what my living room looks like without a bathroom vanity sitting in it for the first time in three months! I’m going to wax the floor!”

And so, the dinner was a failure. I started the grill late, had no appetizers ready, put cilantro (an ingredient that one of my guests would not eat) in everything, and somehow made rice that had the consistency of grits. Even though I washed it and everything. (Seriously, this is the second time my rice has turned to mush. It didn’t used to be this way; I’ve caught Maya’s curse.) My guests politely tried the rice mush and said it tasted nice, but it just didn’t seem like rice.

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A Cry for Help.

Really, you guys. I’m all for a running gag, but this is getting to be a bit ridiculous. My latest attempt at cooking rice was in pelau form, and, as you can see below, it was just as unsuccessful as my track record would have predicted.

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One of the Carnivore’s favorite meals and one I’ve repeatedly tried to make to varying degrees of edibility, pelau is a Trinidadian pilaf-style dish. Its hallmark flavors come courtesy of meat of some sort, traditionally chicken or beef, marinated in green seasoning (a mixture of lime juice, chives, parsley and cilantro) and browned in sugar; this rendition tasted spot-on, but the rice, once again, was a sticky, gummy mess.

Dear readers,  what am I doing wrong?

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